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Concerned With a Cow

“Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.” It’s preposterous, right? Yet we love to teach this story to our children. In fact, ours will share it tonight at their first ‘Parables in the Park” meeting!

It may not exactly be a parable, but it’s a good story! Most of us who grew up in the church heard it at some point in Sunday School or VBS. Usually, there’s a whale in the story (kind of like in the Disney version of Pinocchio), and usually, we talk about how God called Jonah and he rebelled. Then Jonah begs for forgiveness and God saves him.

That’s really only a small part of the story, though. It’s a good story, but it’s not the whole story. In the interest of time, I thought I might tell the rest of the story in the style of the character Luis from Marvel’s Ant-Man. If you do not know who that is, let’s just say he probably has a worse time than I do managing his ADD. (No, I am not making fun of people with ADD, because yes, I do have ADD. Pretty much anyone who has served on our Session can confirm it.)

Ok, here we go...

So there was this guy and he lived at a time when the Hebrew people had been conquered and scattered by the Assyrians, who were some really bad dudes – at least according to their artifacts, cause they depicted like people getting dismembered and trading heads for a bracelet and stuff...unless that was like their version of video games...do you think their moms were like, “Stop looking at those glyphs. They’re so violent. You’re gonna grow up and be a serial killer an stuff”...Anyway, God spoke to Jonah and was like, “I got a message for you to take to Nineveh.” So Jonah’s like, “yeah, OK,” and goes to these sailor dudes and he’s like “Wassup, take me anywhere but Nineveh.” Then God sends this big storm, and they all pray to different gods but then they’re like, “This isn’t working, let’s cast lots!” and when Jonah gets the short straw they're like, “Dude, what did you do?” Then they’re like, “Hey, Jonah’s God, we don’t want to hurt him, so this is on you, right?” and they throw him overboard and everything stops so they're like, “Dude. You are like, the legit God.” Then a big fish, like eats Jonah right in front of them, except it doesn’t eat him. It just swallows him…that’s the part we know, I know...I’m getting there…

Anyway, Jonah like begs and prays and writes this really great poem, and God’s like, “You know you’re my guy” and then he has the fish spit him out on the beach and he’s like, “Dang, I gotta go to Nineveh.” So he tells them all, “40 days, Chumps. Then it’s game over!” ‘cause he knows they dirty. But the craziest thing happens when the King is like, “Nobody eats and you gotta wear ashes on your head and sackcloth (that stuff is itchy, man) and maybe God will like that,” and then God does!

So, of course, Jonah gets all mad and sulky, but he’s got this bush that gives him some shade until God makes a worm eat the leaves and Jonah gets all hot and he’s like, “This stinks! I wish I were dead!” Then God’s like all you care about is yourself. What about those guys down there, and what about their cows?

Alright, so I obviously left some parts out. You might want to go back and read it for yourself. It’s only four chapters, so it’s not that hard. Apart from making the story interesting to listen to, something that I hope you got from all of that is that Jonah was called to love his enemies. He didn’t do it, even when he did go to them, but God’s message of love still came through.

The whole story also ends with a question, and I think it’s a question worth wrestling with. The people repented – and Jonah was sulking about it and the fact that his shade disappeared – and God said, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?” Jonah responds, “It is, and I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

But the Lord said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”

Let’s talk a little about Nineveh. Some scholars say it was one of the largest cities on the planet during its time. It was the city where the Assyrians kept their spoils of war, and with so much wealth, like I said earlier, human life was cheap. Asking Jonah to go there as a mouthpiece for the Hebrew God was like asking Frodo to go to Mordor in the Lord of the Rings. Nineveh was the Death Star. It was the place of no return.

The story of Jonah was set in a time of reform just before the Assyrians destroyed the Northern Kingdom of Israel, but it was probably written after that. Here’s why that matters. Jonah is one of the few prophets who calls to gentiles for repentance. Actually, he doesn’t even offer it, because he doesn’t believe that it would matter.

Most scholars agree that there is a bit of satire in this story, given that all he does is tell them that destruction is coming and even the King immediately repents. It’s never that easy for a prophet. That doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. It means that the point of this story is to acknowledge the problem of grace.

In other words, the Hebrew people were asking questions like, “Why are we getting punished when they are obviously worse than us? They’re terrible humans. If they are forgiven, then what’s the point of being good? In fact, if they are forgiven, then it makes our forgiveness seem kind of cheap and meaningless, after all that we’ve endured.”

I have to say, that’s a pretty common reaction when we see someone whom we think is undeservedly forgiven – especially if they’ve wronged us – but this story seems to say to us, “Amazing. Everything you’ve just said is wrong.”

Like a divine parent to a recalcitrant child, God tells us that our relationship with God is not a reflection of the one who wronged us – so neither is theirs a reflection of the wrong they’ve done to us. Grace and mercy are not about deservedness. They are in fact about being undeserved. Grace means getting something you don’t deserve, and mercy means not getting the penalty that is deserved.

So, where does that leave us? Where do we find ourselves in the story of Jonah? Are we the Israelites that have been conquered and scattered? Are we the powerful and proud Assyrians with little regard but for the greatness of our city? Are we like Jonah, someone who wants mercy for himself and judgment for others?

As for me, sometimes I feel more like the cattle...or maybe just this cow at the beach.
[insert image of a cow at the beach]
The image says, “I don’t know what this cow is going through, but I can relate.” This cow is out of place and totally vulnerable to forces out of her control, but put her in the Jonah story and it makes me wonder if she’s at the beginning or the end. Is she looking to the waves and saying, “Anywhere but Nineveh!” or did she just get spit up out of a great fish?

Either way, this cow is going to have to make a move. She’s in a place of wonder, but if she doesn’t make a move she will be lost.

You know, as much as I can identify with the emotions this image brings up, I can’t help being really concerned for this cow. It kind of reminds me of the question that God asked Jonah. “Why are you so concerned with something that you did not create which only benefits you? What about all those people out there that don’t know right from left, and what about my good creation that they have been called to care for?”

Friends, there are certainly times when all of us are in the wrong. That’s why we confess and turn to God every week – really it’s something we should do every day! God’s grace and mercy poured out for us are what we remember with the water in the font, but if we forget that God’s concern is not just for us but for all of creation – even those we call ‘enemy’, even those whom we believe unredeemable – then we have forgotten what life is all about.

The question the story of Jonah leaves us with is not a question of who deserves God’s grace. It is the question of how might we respond to it with the days that we have been given. Whether you feel like you are in the belly of a fish or surrounded by enemies, or even in a place of wonder like a cow on a beach, know this: God is with you. God’s grace is for you, and God’s mercy will surprise you – again, and again, and again.

At least, I pray that it will be that way for me, and I pray that it will be that way for you, and to God be the glory – now and always. Amen!

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